It Is All My Fault

Everyone is pissed at me for last week, and I don't blame them, I guess. I was selfish. See, the older I get, and the closer I get to FORTY, the more time it seems to take me to do everything and to get the day to day things done even. So I'm way behind in my work, which includes my "work," my W.O.R.K., my work work, and even the stuff I don't really have to do but WANT to which kind of takes up more time than anything else it seems.

So to me, spring on its way is just a reminder of how behind I am. It always seems like the endless winter is a good time to catch up with things because it's ENDLESS-- so where does that leave you when you're on the verge of spring and still not caught up and realizing for that reason you DREAD spring?

So what I did was I sat down with God, who by the way does have a beard, and Mother Nature, who, don't ask me if she was wearing a bra, I was really nervous about this meeting. We sat down like honest businesspeople and I asked them, I pleaded with them for another week of winter so I would at least have the chance to catch up. And they said OK! It was that easy

I thought, then, about asking for a few other things, but I didn't want to push my luck.

So that's why the extra week of winter. I'm sorry, I really am! And I know this sounds like I'm making it up, but I swear to God, it's true!